


A New Understanding

by threerings



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-01-26
Updated: 2007-01-26
Packaged: 2017-10-03 00:41:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/threerings/pseuds/threerings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Honestly, if it hadn't been for a few moments, mostly the tense ones, she would never have believed he was the same man. Or Timelord. Whatever."</p>
            </blockquote>





	A New Understanding

**Author's Note:**

> I have not even finished watching Series 2, and it's only been about a week since I started watching Doctor Who at all, so it's possible that I may be sorry for this after watching the rest of the season. Plus, I'm a Yank, so I'm sure it's littered with Americanisms. Thirdly, it has not been beta-read, because I want to post it while I have the chance. I may be coming back to edit it a bit. Oh, references are made to the scene in the "Children in Need Special," so if you're confused, you may need to see that.

After finally leaving New Earth, Rose settled onto the couch, propping her feet up on the base of the TARDIS controls. The doctor flitted around the console, setting course and trajectories, or whatever it was that all those dials, levers, switches, and …things did. Rose watched him, noticing all the differences in his movement. She was still adjusting to the Doctor's new form, she knew, but she couldn't help looking to find traces of his old self. They were few and far between. Honestly, if it hadn't been for a few moments, mostly the tense ones, she would never have believed he was the same man. Or Timelord. Whatever. In these quiet moments (well, except for the doctor's off-key humming), Rose couldn't help feeling a sort of empty sadness when she thought of the Doctor. She had trusted in the Doctor, loved him, and had seen how much he cared for her. And it felt like he was gone. Her doctor. There was something missing from this new Doctor. Oh, sure, he was charming, and funny, and well, good looking. The old Doctor had been funny, and charming, and good looking. But underneath that, he had been so…intense. Sad, and lonely, but he had made her feel like she would never be alone. Obviously, that was silly. But…she missed him.

"…on our way." Rose realized the Doctor had been speaking to her.

"What?" The Doctor was standing in front of her, head tilting to one side as he realized she hadn't been listening. "Sorry, I was miles away."

"Where, exactly? Anyplace interesting?" he asked teasingly. "Don't start with all this journeying in your head while you're also traveling in your body. I'll start thinking I'm boring you."

"Boring? Not likely," Rose replied with a smile. The Doctor was still looking at her, a bit strangely. Then again, just about everything he did was strange. Or she just wasn't used to it yet. The Doctor remained silent, a half-smile still on his face. Rose started to squirm as he looked at her.

Quite suddenly, the Doctor flopped down into the seat next to her. He faced her, legs tucked under him. Rose looked at him expectantly. She wasn't quite sure what was up, but something in his eyes looked serious.

"So, give me your honest opinion. What do you think?" He gestured down his body. Rose's eyes followed his hand. She opened her mouth, but didn't know what to say. The Doctor smiled, "Seriously, tell me, do you still prefer the old me? This model's younger, thinner, more hair, less ears…" Rose was laughing now, and he joined her. As their laughter died down, Rose was frantically searching for the right answer to give him.

"No, it's great…I mean, no…great." She finished with a helpless gesture. "What am I supposed to say?"

"You're supposed to say that you thought I was the perfect man before, but you never knew true perfection until you looked on this form," the Doctor replied, making a pompous face. They both dissolved into giggles again.

When Rose caught her breath, she managed, "Well, you never laughed this much before."

"No," said the Doctor with mock seriousness, "I was a sad, sad Doctor." He looked up at her again and caught her eyes. They were both smiling, but she could tell there was something behind his eyes. A real sadness, and something she recognized immediately from the old Doctor. As she looked at him and his smile faded, she began to slowly smile, a real genuine smile, actually feeling happy for the first time in this conversation.

There was a long moment when they just looked at each other, and Rose thought he might…well, do something, touch her, but he didn't move. Then he spoke, in a low voice, "Would you still have me change back, if I could?"

The smile left Rose's face all at once. She looked at him, and opened her mouth to answer no, but what came out was, "Yes." Her voice broke on that word, her face crumpling. "I miss him…you…whatever." The Doctor smiled and that stopped her. He was just sitting there smiling at her, and she didn't understand.

Then he did move, he did bring his hand up to touch her face, and Rose's breath caught. She felt like she was drowning suddenly, not understanding what had passed between them, or what showed on his face. Gently, the Doctor leaned into her, and his lips met hers. It was a soft touch, and Rose felt stunned for a moment trying to decide how to react, until she realized she had already responded and was kissing him. It was a slow and sweet kiss, and he pulled back too soon.

Rose opened her eyes, not fully realizing she had closed them. The Doctor was simply back in position across from her, looking at her again, as if nothing had happened. Rose shook her head.

"I don't understand any of this," she said, not liking the slightly whining tone to her voice.

"What don't you understand, Rose?"

Rose started to answer, but realized she didn't know what to say. 'I don't understand why you kissed me?' 'I don't understand why you didn't do it sooner?' 'I don't understand who you are?' 'I don't understand why me saying I preferred you before makes you kiss me now?'

She settled on, "I don't understand…you." The Doctor tilted back his head and laughed. Reluctantly, Rose joined him. The Doctor hooked his arm around her waist and pulled her against his chest. Rose settled against him and snaked her arm around him. The Doctor leaned down, his breath against her ear.

"No one understands me, Rose, not even myself."


End file.
